Laws of the Three Weeks- Tu B'Av

Laws of the Three Weeks- Tu B'Av

HaRav Eytan Weisz

 

Fast	Fast Begins	Fast Ends
17th of Tammuz Tuesday, July 23	03:57 (90 minutes before Netz) 04:19 (72 minutes before Netz)	20:02
9th of Av Tuesday, August 13	Monday, August 12 19:30	Tuesday, August 13 19:55

 

The Laws of the ‘Minor’ Fasts

1. The fast of Gedaliah, the tenth of Tevet, Ta'anit Esther, and the 17th of Tammuz all begin at dawn and end when the stars appear.

2. One should not eat or drink after going to bed on the night of the fast. But if one planned or even thought that they might eat or drink before dawn then it is permitted.

3. All healthy and strong people are obligated to fast on these days.

4. One who is sick, even if he is not in danger, or one who is pregnant, nursing, or elderly should not fast. People in these categories are permitted to eat and drink without restriction, provided they do not overeat for pleasure, but eat simple and nutritious foods for the purpose of strengthening their bodies.

The 17th of Tammuz

5. We fast so as not to break the chain of generations that have fasted before us.

6. Fasting on the 17th of Tammuz stems from the voluntary consent of the people.

7. On Tisha B’av the fast lasts from evening to evening, while on the 17th of Tammuz the fast begins at dawn and ends when the stars appear. 

8. On the 17th of Tammuz only eating and drinking are prohibited, unlike on Tisha B’Av which also prohibits washing, anointing, wearing leather shoes, and having marital relations.

9. Some opinions hold that it is permitted to rinse one’s mouth with water provided he is careful not to swallow it.

10. On the 17^th of Tammuz, a sick person is not obligated to fast even if it would not put him in danger. Pregnant and nursing women are not obligated to fast. 

Tefillah on Fast Days

11. Sephardim say Aneinu at Shacharit and Mincha during the blessing of shema koleinu of the silent amidah. Ashkenazim say Aneinu only at Mincha, and only the Chazzan says it during Shacharit. 

12. If one forgets to say Aneinu at the proper place he can say it in Elokai Nitzor, and if he forgets then he should not repeat the Amidah.

13. If the Chazzan forgets to say Aneinu and remembered after saying rofeh cholei amo yisrael,  he should not go back, but he should say it during shomea tefillah, and if he forgets then he can say it during Sim Shalom. 

14. After the repetition of the Amidah in the morning, it is the custom to say Slichot. One who is praying alone should read the 13 Middot with the tune of the Torah reading. Ashkenazim say Avinu Malkeinu. Torah reading follows Tachanun (Shemot 31:11-14; 34:1-9).

15. The order of Mincha: Ashrei, Chatzi Kaddish, take out the Torah if there are at least six men who are fasting, and only those who are fasting should get called up and read from the Torah. Chatzi Kaddish is said after the Torah is returned. 

16. According to the Ashkenazi custom, the haftarah of Isaiah 55:6-56,8 is read.

17. If Mincha is prayed close to sunset, the Kohanim go up for Birkat Kohanim 

18. Ashkenazim say Avinu Malkeinu before Tachanun.

19. One who is not fasting should not say Aneinu. He should not be the Chazzan or get an Aliyah. If he has mistakenly been called to the Torah, he may get an Aliyah. He should also not read from the Torah or receive other honors. A Kohen who is not fasting should not say Birkat Kohanim unless he is the only Kohen present.

20. When there are fewer than 10 men who are fasting in the minyan (some say when there are fewer than 6), they do not read Torah, say Aneinu, or do Birkat Kohanim. The Chazzan should say Aneinu during the repetition of the Amidah. 

The Three Weeks

21. The three weeks between the seventeenth of Tammuz and Tisha B'Av are days of mourning for the destruction of the Temple. They are called 'Between the Straits'.

22. On these days it is customary not to play musical instruments, except for the purpose of study and earning a living. It is also customary not to listen to recorded music. One may listen to programs on the radio even if music is played in between segments. Some say that one may listen to music that is not upbeat, such as classical or calm music.

23. One should avoid saying Shehecheyanu on a new fruit or garment on weekdays, but it is permitted on Shabbat.

24. Ashkenazim do not have weddings during all three weeks, and Sephardim do not hold weddings starting from Rosh Chodesh Av.

25. Ashkenazim do not cut their hair or shave during all three weeks, but some allow shaving in honor of Shabbat until Rosh Chodesh. Sepharadim do not get haircuts or shave during the week of Tisha B'Av.

The Month of Av

26. On Rosh Chodesh Av (Shabbat-Matot Masai) we say Hallel as on every Rosh Chodesh, and we add Ya'aleh ViYavo in Birkat HaMazon.

 27. 'When Av enters we reduce our joy.' We do not eat meat or drink wine. Ashkenazim refrain from wine and meat even on Rosh Chodesh itself, while Sephardim refrain starting the second day of Av. Yemenites only refrain from wine and meat at the pre-fast meal. On Shabbat, at Havdalah, and at meals connected to a Mitzvah meat and wine are permitted.

28. From the beginning of the month of Av and onwards, Ashkenazim do not wear freshly laundered clothes (except in honor of Shabbat), and Sephardim do not wear freshly laundered clothing during the week of Tisha B'Av.

However, one may prepare clothes ahead of time by wearing the clean clothes for about half an hour, and doing this multiple times until he has enough clothes until Tisha B’Av is over.

Some say that clean clothes can be placed on the ground so that they are no longer considered clean, and then they can be worn in the days leading up to Tisha B’Av.

Some say that the prohibition against changing clothes only applies to a person who is changing for pleasure, but one is permitted to change when his clothes get dirty. 

29. Ashkenazim refrain from bathing for pleasure and refreshment starting from Rosh Chodesh Av, and Sephardim refrain during the week of Tisha B'Av. One who is dirty or sweaty is permitted to bathe in lukewarm water.

On Erev Shabbat it is permitted to wash one’s face, hands, and feet with hot water. It is also permitted to cut one’s nails.

If Rosh Chodesh falls on a Erev Shabbat, it is permissible to bathe one’s whole body in hot water.

30. Ashkenazim and most Sephardim do not sanctify the moon until after Tisha B'Av because they are in mourning.

31. Table to summarize the mourning customs of the Three Weeks.

 (A= Ashkenazim, S= Sepharadim)

 

	3 Weeks	9 Days	Week of 9 Av	Motzei 9 Av	10 Av during the day	10 Av is on Erev Shabbat
Joyous Music	Forbidden	Forbidden	Forbidden	Forbidden	A - permitted from mid-day,  S - forbidden	A - permitted from mid-day,  S - Forbidden
Say Shehecheyanu (except for Shabbat)	Forbidden	Forbidden	Forbidden	Forbidden	Forbidden	Forbidden
Weddings	A - Forbidden S - Permitted	Forbidden	Forbidden	Forbidden	Forbidden	Forbidden
Haircuts and Shaving	A - Forbidden S - Permitted	A - Forbidden S -  Permitted	Forbidden	A - Forbidden S - Permitted	A - Permitted from mid-day,  S - Permitted	Permitted
Meat and Wine	Permitted	Forbidden (S - permitted on Rosh Chodesh)	Forbidden	Forbidden	A - Permitted from mid-day,  S -Forbidden	A - permitted from the morning, S - permitted only to taste foods to prepare for Shabbat.
Wearing Clean Clothes	Permitted	A - Forbidden S - Permitted	Forbidden	S - Permitedt A - Forbidden	S - Permitted A - Permitted from midday	Permitted
Bathing for Pleasure	Permitted	A - Forbidden, S - Permitted	Forbidden	A - Forbidden S - Permitted	A - Permitted from midday, S - Permitted	Permitted
Sanctifying the Moon	Permitted	Not Allowed	Not Allowed	Permitted	-------	Permitted

The 5 Prohibitions of Tisha B’Av

46. The sages are as strict with these prohibitions on Tisha B’Av as they are on Yom Kippur:

1. The fast begins at sunset on the eve of Tisha B'Av, this year it begins when it is still Shabbat.
2. Five things are forbidden: eating and drinking, washing, anointing, wearing  leather shoes, and marital relations.
3. It is forbidden to study Torah on Tisha B’Av, but it is permitted to learn the book of Job, the Midrash of Eicha and the laws of mourning.

47. One who is sick, even if he is not in danger, may eat what he needs on Tisha B'Av. He should not eat for pleasure, rather he should eat simple and nutritious foods for the purpose of strengthening his body.

48. When washing hands in the morning and after using the bathroom, one should wash only up to the point where the fingers connect to the palm.

49. It is forbidden to wash the body (even one finger) even in cool water. But one may wash if his hands are dirty. There is no prohibition to wet one’s hand or the rest of the body while washing dishes or doing any other activity.

50. Only anointment for pleasure is forbidden. One may apply deodorant, vaseline and hand cream, etc. if not for pleasure.

51. It is forbidden to wear shoes or sandals made of leather, but other shoes are allowed even if they are comfortable.

Customs of Tisha B'Av 

52. One should not greet others on Tisha B'Av, even saying 'good morning' is forbidden (and one should not give gifts to friends). One who is greeted should respond with seriousness and soft language.

53. One should refrain from non-essential work or trips so as not to be distracted from mourning.

54. Until midday, it is customary not to do work. Although one may work in order to prevent damage or loss.

55. It is forbidden to study Torah, but reciting Korbanot and reviewing the Torah reading for Shacharit and Mincha is permitted.

56. Some people sleep on a mattress on the floor, and some people sleep without a pillow. Some people put a stone under their head while sleeping.

Tefillah on Tisha B'Av

57. Until Mincha one should sit on the ground or on low chairs. Some only do this until after Shacharit. Some remove the curtain from the ark.

58. In the synagogue, only partial lighting is turned on (enough lighting so that people can read), and one should pray in a low voice like a mourner.

59. After Maariv, Eicha and Kinnot are said — each according to their custom. After that, one should say ViAtah Kadosh, Kaddish, and Aleinu.

60. On Tisha B'Av, it is customary to say Shacharit without a tallit and tefillin (a tallit katan is worn without a blessing). Some Sepharadim do wear a tallit and tefillin in the morning.

61. Adding Aneinu and ViNachem:

Sephardim - the Chazzan adds Aneinu as a blessing in itself between Go’el and Refanenu,  and Nachem in Boneh Yerushalayim at Shacharit and Mincha.

Ashkenazim - At Shacharit the Chazzan adds Aneinu as a blessing in itself between Go’el and Refanenu.

At Mincha the Chazzan says Aneinu as a blessing in itself between Go’el and Refanenu and Nachem in Boneh Yerushalayim.

At the silent prayer of Mincha, Ashkenazim say Aneinu within Shema Koleinu and Nachem within U’vineh Yerushalayim, and Sephardim say Aneinu and Nachem in all the prayers of the fast.

One who forgot to say Nachem should say it after Aneinu in Shema Koleinu. If he forgets again he should not go back. 

62. Some omit the morning blessing of SheAsah li kol tzarchi.

63. Ashkenazim do not do Birkat Kohanim at Shacharit of Tisha B'Av.

64. One should not say Tachanun on Tisha B'Av between Shacharit or Mincha, nor is Avinu Malkeinu or LaMinatzeach said. 

65. At Shacharit we read Devarim 4:25-40

      And haftarah from Yirmiyahu 8:13-19,23. Some do not say Kaddish until after the haftarah.

66. Ashkenazim do not say Titkabel in Kaddish, nor do they say Shir Shel Yom or Ein Kelokeinu in the morning.

67. At the end of Shacharit one should sit and say kinnot. Some read Eicha. 

68. Some put on tallit and tefillin before Mincha. 

69. Before Mincha, Ashkenazim say the Shir Shel Yom and Ein Kelokeinu  which they did not say in the morning.

70. Mincha is the same as on other fasts, one should read Torah and haftarah with the blessings. One should not say Tachanun or Avinu Malkeinu.

71. It is the custom of the Ashkenazim and some of the Sephardim to sanctify the moon on Motzei Tisha B'Av.

Laws of 10 B’Av 

 72. The fires in the Temple started on 9 Av and lasted through 10 Av, we therefore hold some of the customs of Tisha B’Av on the 10th of Av as well. Ashkenazim keep all the laws of the 9 days on the 10th of Av, and Sepharadim refrain from eating meat and drinking wine, but are permitted to bathe and do laundry.

 

Tu B'Av, 5784

During the days of the Beit Hamikdash, a joyous celebration took place in the heart of summer, on the fifteenth day of the month of Av. The Gemara even highlights it as the most joyful day in the Jewish calendar, stating, "There were no better days for Israel than the fifteenth of Av and Yom Kippur."

The author of 'Kol Bo', a significant halachic work from early times, explains that it was observed as a festive Moed Bet. Older women and girls from poor families, who had not yet found matches, would dance in the vineyards outside the city, and many marriages were arranged.

After the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash, this celebration ceased, likely due to a decline in spiritual standards leading to modesty concerns. In the Book of Eicha, this loss is lamented, including the cessation of these gatherings: "Zion’s roads are in mourning… All her gates are deserted… Her maidens are unhappy…" The translation elaborates: "Her maidens are unhappy because they stopped going out on the fifteenth of Av and Yom Kippur to dance."

This prompts a simple question: What happened on Tu B'Av? Why was this day chosen? Why is it necessary to create a new holiday, and not attach the celebrations to one of the known and famous holidays?

The Talmud clarifies the uniqueness of this day by listing six historical events that occurred on this day spanning Israel’s history, from the desert wanderings to the aftermath of the Second Beit Hamikdash's destruction.

Interestingly, some of these events seem less than joyous at first glance. For instance, one reason given is "A day when they stopped cutting down trees for the Mizbeach." The altar in the Temple required a constant supply of wood for sacrifices. Prominent families donated this wood until the fifteenth of Av, when the sun's heat weakened the wood, making it less suitable for use. What is joyous about this?

Similarly, another event is listed as allowing inter-tribal marriages, which originally were restricted to safeguard tribal inheritance. When Bnei Yisrael inherited the land, daughters of a family that did not have sons had to marry only members of their own tribe, in order to keep the inheritance in the hands of the tribe and not transfer it to members of another tribe. On the 15^th of Av, after settling the land and the establishment of the tribes in their regions they decided to cancel the regulation and allow every woman to marry a man of her choice, from any tribe.

"The tribes were allowed to marry each other" - after the tragic story of the "Mistress on the Hill", who was severely abused by the members of the tribe of Binyamin, all the tribes decided to boycott the members of the tribe and forbid them to marry into the tribe. After a while there was a real danger that the tribe of Binyamin would become extinct, so the elders of the people decided to break the boycott. They suggested to the members of the tribe of Binyamin to watch the girls in the vineyards and also join in the matchmaking celebration.

Another event that took place on the same day, hundreds of years later, at the end of the days of the first temple: "The day Hoshea ben Ela canceled road blocks that Yerovam ben Nevat put on the roads so people would not be able to go to Jerusalem during the Shalosh Regalim." After hundreds of years in which there was a hermetic border between Jerusalem and Samaria, which prevented the citizens of the Kingdom of Israel from ascending to the Temple, the last king of Israel, Hoshea ben Ela, removed the barriers and breached the borders and allowed everyone to return and ascend to Jerusalem.

The question persists: What is the secret of Tu B'Av? How do these diverse events unite into a cohesive celebration? What is the connection between these events and matchmaking?

The answer lies in unity.

On Tu B'Av, a transformative unity emerged among Jews. It reversed the baseless hatred that led to Tisha B'Av's tragedies. While the Temple fell due to internal discord, Tu B'Av radiated profound love within Israel.

Consider the wood donations: those families who donated the trees to the temple, did not do it for their own honor. They did the hard work for other people, so that other Jews who make sacrifices would not have to also pay for wood. On Tu B'Av their generosity reached a peak. They could have said: 'Now there is wood for the Temple, the Jerusalem warehouses are full, we will wait another six months and then we will take care of the rest. We will look for and find dry trees.' But they didn't. Their desire to benefit other Jews was so burning in them, that they went ahead and gave their donations for six months ahead.

Similarly, each event—lifting marriage restrictions, ending tribal bans, and reopening pilgrimage routes—sprang from pure love and dedication among Jews.

Thus, Tu B'Av aptly celebrates Jewish unity and altruism. It embodies the essence of building a Jewish home: selflessness, sacrifice, and communal goodwill.

Even today, amidst challenges, we must cultivate positive perceptions, extend kindness, and strengthen genuine love. Rabbi Kook wrote, "And if we are destroyed and the world is destroyed with us through free hatred, we will return to be built and the world with us will be built through free love"

Tu B'Av stands as a testament to these principles, symbolizing of acts of kindness and unconditional love throughout time. May these efforts hasten our redemption and bring everlasting peace.